Lesson learned

Always be careful what you put online, because you never know who is reading it.

It's really here - the end of college

I'm sitting in the library right now, killing time before my final presentation in an hour. I just took my last exam ever and I still don't really believe it. Four years have come and gone, and only 11 days separate me and two diplomas. I did it - I really did it. On Saturday, May 19 I'll be receiving a Bachelor of Science in Mass Communications (Public Relations) and a Bachelor of Arts in French... with honors. How on earth I did it, I still don't know. When I think back over everything that has happened since the fall of 2003, it is astonishing how much I have gone through and experienced, both good and bad. I lost family members, fell in love, became a groupie (haha!), watched technology evolve at a pace never seen before, and mourned tragedies around the world. Everything that I've experienced has changed me. A lot of people ask, "Is there anything you'd do differently?" and I'd be quick to say no. Of course, there were situations that were difficult to deal with, nights I cried myself to sleep, and days that I didn't know what the future held - but they all made me a stronger person. This blog covered a lot of the emotions I went through, but has a big gap - the past year. If I could give a detailed answer for why, I would, but I think it was ultimately that my emotions became twisted in so many ways that I couldn't begin to describe them. Anna, my boss that had become a close friend, moved to a different state, my new boss created a hostile and unproductive work environment, Ernie walked out of my life for good without explanation, my friendship with Todd became complicated when he went on deployment... then there were highs like all of the concerts I went to across the country, getting a job with a radio station, and making some great new friends. My heart and head were torn in so many directions over the past year, and I wish that some it had changed. The "mean boss" was fired, so work is a lot better, Todd and I are fine now, and I still have awesome friends who do things like surprising me with a trip to NYC for graduation! But Ernie... I wish that had changed. He's married now and it's been over a year since we've spoken. But I still can't shake this feeling that I can't really explain. Maybe someone who's been there knows what I mean, but I can't quite articulate what it is.

As for the future, I'll still be where I am now for the time-being. I've applied for some jobs in Nashville, so hopefully something will come to fruition and I can move down there this summer. I'm still interested in Belmont's music business MBA program, but will probably wait until I get settled down there and figure out how to finance everything.

What else is there to say? I'm excited for what the future has to hold and hope I'll be able to stay in touch with everyone that has touched my life these past four years.

~*Love One Another*~

Oh my...

"A woman's curves are like curves on a guitar. And if a man can work his hands on a guitar, Just imagine what he can do to a woman." - Joe Don Rooney





















*sigh* Only 11 days until we can test that theory...again. O:-)

An entire year?

Wow... it's been almost an entire year since I've blogged. I have two exams on Tuesday, so I'll do a LONG update sometime this week :)

I just got back from a mini-vacation, and it was great. :) I soooo needed it.

I managed to not get burned, but my right foot looks like I have measles... over 20 bug bites. Pretty insane. Between Benadryl and topical stuff, I managed to get it under control, but it still looks pretty hideous - at least it doesn't itch.

Tomorrow is back to the grind :(

Next weekend my roomie is moving out, so I'll have the whole place to myself for a few weeks before I move myself.

I met with one of my professors last week to go over stuff about grad school and an internship opportunity. It went really well, so if all goes as planned, I'll be in Nashville next summer with a job, start grad school in the fall and have tuition paid for. *say a little prayer*

In affairs of the heart, I'm trying hard to forget about what's happened in the past, but it's just not easy... especially when you see that person's name everywhere. It's kinda like that Keith Anderson song "Everytime I Hear Your Name," but it's everytime I see his name. Ugh. If I'm supposed to be getting some kind of sign/message from up above, I haven't figured out what it means yet.

That's all for now... a bientot.

Cruel and unusual

I think that sums up my love life. I tried to see what could happen with someone new only to get stood up with no phone call or explanation. I really don't get it. Am I cursed? That's the only explanation I can come up with. Either that, or fate has a REALLY big surprise for me. If that's the case, I wish it would get here already. This whole 'lonely' thing is getting really old. I'm very lucky to have some close friends who have been there for me lately, and I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Letting go... still hurts.

How could we quit something we never even tried
Well you still can't tell me why

We built it up to watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn't give you what you need
You walked away and stole my life
Just to find what you're looking for...

You're not the person you used to be
The one I want who wanted me
And that's a shame but
There's only so many tears that you can cry
Before it drains the light right from your eyes
And I can't go on that way
And so I'm letting go of everything we were
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt